At Last, The Finals

•June 29, 2009 • 258 Comments


Hello bloggees and bloggettes!

Before beginning, I would like to again mention that we are having, for the next 4 Sundays, July 5th – July 26, a series of Best of the UMC showcases. It’s gonna be great. Click here for details.

And, now, finally, the Winner of the Ultimate Music Challenge is…

Rolling the Stones.

Congratulations you 20-thousand-dollar-having sumbitches!

Spend it wisely, or, go on a bender and blow it all in two days – either way, you earned it!


And just like that, it’s over.

I feel like a kid on Christmas day, after he’s opened all his presents, sitting around the tree looking at all the pieces of gift wrapping, shredded and scattered on the living room floor like, not to mix metaphors, dead soldiers after a great battle.

That’s how it feels for me today, Christmas has come and gone and I never wanted it to end. Continue reading ‘At Last, The Finals’


UMC Semi-Finals, Round 2

•June 22, 2009 • 119 Comments

[Author’s Note: There will be no band photos this week. My camera battery was dead last night so I was not able to snap pictures. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause].

And the winners of UMC Semi-Finals Round 2 are…

Siren’s Crush and Don’t Stop Believing:

Congratulations you ridiculously talented sum-bitches!

And so we have it, the official lineup for the UMC grand finale, in order of their scheduled appearances: Don’t Stop Believing, Rolling the Stones, Siren’s Crush and Monsters of Rock.

That’s two tribute bands versus two variety cover bands. (Gee, I wonder if that will dispel any conspiracy theories about the judges “favoring” tribute bands). Speaking of tribute groups, a sad farewell to Alice and the Cooper Gang. They are just so fun, so good; it’s tough to say goodbye. Especially since I haven’t heard “Goes to Hell” yet, which I was really hoping to hear last night. Suffice to say, I’m bummed. However, the best bands won last night, despite the fact that Don’t Stop Believing got the lowest db score.

Ahh, the mysteries of life.

Continue reading ‘UMC Semi-Finals, Round 2’

UMC Semi-Finals Week 1

•June 15, 2009 • 234 Comments

And the winners are…

Rölling the Stönes and Mönsters öf Röck.  Congratulations both you, “Bringing-it-when-it-needed-to-be-brought” mofos! See you in the Finals!

So, it was Rölling the Stönes which, once again, came out first, slammed the jam, smoked the stroke, and set a bar which arguably wasn’t surpassed until the last set of the night, if ever.

Man, oh man, I had so much fun last night. The only thing that sucked was that all 4 bands couldn’t go forward. For the record, I enjoyed every one of your sets and will be keeping an eye out for future gigs. True story.

Here are you db readings:

Rölling the Stönes topped the meter at 117.4, followed by Mönsters öf Röck at 116.7, The Mighty Untöuchables at 116.1, and Firëfly at 114.6, which means the crowd and I agreed upon the two winners, and overturned Alicia and Dave’s top pick of The Mighty Untöuchables.

Indeed, Dave and Alicia overtly expressed their disdain for my decision to stiff The Untöuchables and, predictably, pulled their, “We-are-musicians-and-we-know-better-than-you” card, on which I called bullshit. More on that later.

Continue reading ‘UMC Semi-Finals Week 1’

UMC Week 8

•June 8, 2009 • 200 Comments

A quick note before we begin: Thanks to Judge Megan Carchman for filling in for Alicia last night. You did a bang up job girl, and it was a pleasure having you!


And so, the last week of the UMC preliminaries ends not with a whimper, but with a big badass bang – a big bang – as Siren’s Crush (formerly Crush – 3rd Place in UMC 1 Finals) came away with the win.

Continue reading ‘UMC Week 8’

UMC Week 7

•June 1, 2009 • 122 Comments

Before I get to this week’s analysis I have a couple of comments.

I know many of you have been requesting, either on the blog or privately, that I publish band images, stats or judges’ scores from previous weeks’ challenges. First of all, please know, I haven’t been ignoring your requests. I was out of  town in the middle of last week (Las Vegas actually) and when I returned, spent Saturday and Sunday organizing and operating a two day music festival, then raced off to Viejas for UMC, and was pretty much away from my computer for the last 6 days. I didn’t even see all your blog and/or email requests until today.

Continue reading ‘UMC Week 7’

UMC Week 6

•May 25, 2009 • 135 Comments

First off, a special comment:

Today is Memorial Day and I’d like to take this moment to give a hearty thank you, thank you, thank you former and current military men, living or dead – for all you do and all you’ve done.


You may be a dick, but you are a hero dick. You are our hero dick.

And let it be known that even though we civilians really don’t need a Memorial Day to remind us of your sacrifice, we are happy to have one.

Continue reading ‘UMC Week 6’

UMC Week 5

•May 18, 2009 • 188 Comments

[Author’s note: If this is your first time visiting the UMC blog, you might want to check out the INTRODUCTION first.]

And the winner is…

Big Toe!

Congratulations you Velcro-vest wearing maniacs! Well done.

Continue reading ‘UMC Week 5’