Week 2 – April 26

[Author’s note: If this is your first time visiting the UMC blog, you might want to check out the INTRODUCTION first.]

Hey all! Before getting to my review of last night’s competition, I have a small bit of unfortunate news to report. I am no longer able to take pictures in the DreamCatcher. It seems there are some complications with the gaming commission and taking photos in the lounge is heretofore verboten!

I know this sucks but let’s not make a big deal about it. It’s out of our hands and griping about it will only aggravate us (read: me) more. Besides, I’m going to use different, relevant images in their place so don’t lament my friends, all will be fine.

And the winner of Ultimate Music Challenge Week 2 is….

Monsters of Rock

Congratulations boys! Well done. Hell yeah!

So, what a night it was. I think everybody is in agreement that all the bands which played last night were excellent. I sure walked out of there with an electricified grin on my face.

The first band to take the stage was the Sofa Kings. It was a superb way to start the evening. They were tight and they were pro and they chose a couple of gems to play for us, including an outstanding version of Sugar Loaf’s “Green Eyed Lady,” which is a very complex tune, especially during the breakdown, which they pulled off quite elegantly.

(This is a guitar – guitars are used by many bands in the UMC)

Next up was, Generator, which is a Bad Religion cover band. I don’t much care for Bad Religion or the rest of the bands in that wanna-be thuggy, So Cal punkabilly scene (Social Distortion, NOFX, The Adolescents, etc.)

My feeling is that the SoCal punkabilly stuff is a little soft and contains a tad more posing than East Coast or British punk bands, which are my preferences, and that Mike Ness (Social Distortion singer who sounds like Greg Graffin of Bad Religion), could very well be the son of Satan.

After the Generator’s set, I told the guys that I pretty much, “tune out Bad Religion whenever I hear them on the jukebox.” However, I must admit, watching them gave me a new appreciation for the nuances of Bad Religion’s song structures and harmonies. Not that I’m not going to go out and buy an album any time soon, but thanks to Generator I won’t tune out a Bad Religion song the next time it plays on the juke. That’s a testament to Generator for sure. They also seem like swell guys, with great attitudes. I liked their demeanor during their performance and even more afterward. Kudos!

Next came the Clay Colton Band, which brought the competition to the next level. They opened their set with Bon Jovi (who happens to be the daughter of Satan) and slammed it! Of all the groups that night, the songs the Clay Colton played were my least favorite but they combined musicianship and showmanship in a vibrant, somewhat schlocky manner. They were fun. They were packed with energy. They had leggy hot chicks acting all hot and leggy and shit. I think this was the band that marked a turning point for the crowd, as though everyone in the room sat up a little straighter, and leaned a little forwarder, in their honor.

Then came the moment a lot of people were anticipating: The return of Monsters of Rock. And they did return, in a monster fashion. They played an entire set of new (to them) songs. “Let There Be Rock” by AC/DC, “The Mountain Song” by Janes Addiction , “Aces High,” by Iron Maiden (I’m quite sure the Iron Maiden mascot, Eddie, is the brother of Satan) and closed out with the Mötley Crüe’s anthemic, “Shout at the Devil.”

(This is a stage. The bands in UMC play on a stage too)

Ok, so, here’s the thing about Monsters of Rock that is true about few bands in this competition. When MOR starts playing, the judges stop judging. Well, I do anyway. I become so consumed by their power and fury, that I am no longer looking for things to critique or compliment. I’m just rocking out.

Of course they’re not perfect, but  I don’t care. When Monsters of Rock are on that stage, I don’t want to be a judge. I want to be a fan, so I don’t have to waste time writing comments about how the guitar player came in a half step late on his solo, or the singer went sharp for a second there, because every moment I spend writing stuff down is a moment that I’m not rocking out to Monsters of Rock.

There is one disappointment I’d like to mention. I noticed that MOR did not take my advice last year and add the heavy metal umlaut ( e.g. Mötley Cruë) to their name.

This is a travesty. There is a reason Satan created the heavy metal umlaut and it was to advertise, to those so inclined, that metal can be found here, and also as a warning to others – the more pious among us, the followers of a lighter, safer brand of music, a feebler people whose bones are more brittle, ears more sensitive – that they should steer clear of this area because it is where heavy metal is happening.

T’is a shame that Monsters of Rock will not utilize this ever-so-tiny accent which would explain so much, yet requires so little extra space in their newspaper ad.

(This is a human being – often, bands
that perform at UMC have human beings in them)

Last came Led Zeppelin tributers, Dazed and Confused. It was horribly disappointing. Not because the guys sucked or anything, rather, because they suffered one of the worst technical failures in rock and roll history; right up there with the time Derek Smalls (Spinal Tap) couldn’t get out of the alien cocoon during their performance of “Rock and Roll Creation,” at Hartford Civic Center.

It was, dare I say, tragic.

They started the set with “Black Dog,” which, admittedly, had a few misfires, but when they kicked into “Kashmir,” all was forgiven. That song, so majestic, so epic, just put the room into a trance. There must have been at least three or four times when goose pimples ran up and down my arms as they brought the crowd in and out of our hypnotized states and finished to an uproarious applause.

Then they launched into “Whole Lotta Love,” and there was nothing hypnotizing about it. It was straight up, in your face, rawk and they played the intro and pre-middle of the song with  a vengeance, after which they. . .

. . . they slide into a psychedelic breakdown,  with entrancing guitar whelps and yelps, and chilling pick-scrapes, the drummer pecking away at his cymbals and the rims of his snares, and the singer wailing out“ohs” and “ahs” and other orgasmic eructations with his mouth about a foot away from the microphone so it sounds as if he is gratifying himself in a dark cave off in the distance. Then they arrive at the half way point of the breakdown – rising, rising – and here they come, emerging from the psychedelic forest to crush the finale. The drummer rolls out the song’s infamous, psychopathic machine gun drum roll and bangs out a, “Thump! thump!”, which everyone in the world recognizes as Jimmy Page’s cue to shred. And the guitar player steps up and starts wailing on those strings like he’s standing on the P.A. in Madison Square, except, there’s nothing there.

“Thump, thump” goes the bass and drum once more.

And the guitarist goes at it again, and again, and again – for naught.

As I said, it was tragic; as tragic as Romeo and Juliet. In fact that’s what it was. The “thump, thump” of the bass and drums was Romeo’s call to Juliette, but she never answered, thus destroying the defining moment of the song, the moment the song, nay, the entire set, was headed toward – the moment that was supposed to leave us all dazed and confused by their virtuosity. Instead, everybody in that room was devastated, and none moreso than the guitar player, whom I think should probably be put on suicide watch for a few weeks.

But don’t take it to heart, Guitar Guy. Sometimes your guitar goes out when you’re playing a little filler riff that nobody will notice, and sometimes it goes out when you’re playing the most important solo of your life. May all your future technical failures be when you’re playing filler riffs, my friend. And a word of advice – COME BACK NEXT YEAR! You seriously have a shot at winning this thing so get your butts in gear!

Anyway, there you have it. Week 2, in the tank. Thanks for being a great audience – I love you guys!

See ya next week!

Edwin Decker
Judge #3

(This is a judge. We have judges at
the UMC too! I am one of them.)

~ by edwin decker on April 27, 2009.